TEA
IS A
RACKET 🤝
WELCOME TO MAFIATEA: THE ONLY TEA BRAND THAT ADMITS IT. WE DON'T DO "JOURNEY". WE DON'T DO "STORY". WE SELL TEA. GOOD TEA. AT A FAIR PRICE. WITHOUT THE BULLSHIT.
THE MANIFESTO
EVERY TEA BRAND TELLS YOU A STORY ABOUT "MOUNTAIN PEAKS" AND "ANCIENT TRADITIONS"! WE'LL TELL YOU THE TRUTH:
— TEA IS A COMMODITY.
— MOST TEA IS OVERPRICED.
— THE WORD "PREMIUM" MEANS NOTHING.
— IF YOUR TEA COSTS $100, SOMEONE IS LYING.
BUT GOOD TEA IS REAL. WE SELL IT. NO MARKUP, NO MYSTIQUE, NO MAFIA TRICKS BEYOND THIS PARODY. JOIN THE FAMILY 🤌
THE GOODS 💸
$12
YUNNAN
NO BULLSHIT
Pu-erh from a real mountain. We have photos to prove it. 100g, fresh, no story attached.
$15
WUYI
ROCKS
Yan cha from Fujian. Probably better than the "premium" version other brands sell for $80. Same farm.
$8
DAILY
DRIVER
Regular green tea. Good. Cheap. We don't care if it's "ceremonial grade". Drink it.